Point of Light Episode, Discovery, Illogical, self-defeating, painful Beliefs

 https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLI3rFuqY6lFtqlCzC-4pLJd1gUwLo7dkh 

Hi, I’m jimmy,

Once again, Captain of the Starship, Logic.

It is not easy to change habits. We are like a horse and rider. The “rider” is our consciousness – the horse is our subconscious, our genetic instincts, and our habits. When we discover a better way to do something, we can make our horse do it. However, when we stop thinking about it, our old habits kick in and we go back to our old ways – until – we have trained our horse to go the new way. It’s like learning a new sports’ move or new language. It takes practice, practice, practice. That practice actually creates new neural pathways so we don’t even think about it – we just do it. But no one will ever be perfect at it.

Today, we examine the “Point of Light” episode of Star Trek Discovery. This contains Spoilers. Please buy and watch Discovery at CBS all access.

First up is Michael’s false dilemma:

 

Conflict between logic and emotion

 

There is no conflict between logic and emotion. They are symbiotic. The Vulcan problem is the illogical idea that helpful emotions and self-defeating emotions are joined at the hip, that you can’t have one without the other. Nice feeling sensations and emotions are what make life worth living, make us want to do things – to improve. What good is, “live long and “prosper” if we ain’t having no fun? Moreover, some moderately painful emotions motivate us to change for the better.

Next, the common confusion that what “triggers” an emotion causes that emotion.

 

Her not understanding the mysterious lights triggers her belief that that not having a relationship with Spock would be a cataclysm. It “feels” like a failure because she believes it is a failure. Moreover, she fortune tells, exaggerates that this is a do or die, last chance.

This next scene seems positive, but in the long run, it sets Tilly up to hurt herself, again and again, eventually give up, burn out.

 

Michael rated Tilly’s whole person, not just what she did. While this triggers Tilly to feel great about her whole self, the catch is that when Tilly screws up in the future, she has now been trained to condemn her whole self and feel miserable. Rate the act, not the person. Even though most people will rate the whole person, we can mentally translate it into performance praise so we don’t set ourselves up to feel miserable the next time we fail, do not come in “first”, or when someone condemns us for some sub par performance or failure.

Next, Pike illustrates the how conflicting beliefs cause conflicting emotions.

 

Since Pike believes both that he “must” follow regulations and that he “should” not betray his friend, he has mixed emotions. This also illustrates the necessity of forcefully adopting new beliefs as well as the reality of residual beliefs, the impossibility of perfectly changing.

Next we see the demagogues’ favorite tools to acquire power, to start wars.

 

Racism, nationalism – we’re better than the other guys. They’re really the same thing. While it is good to preserve culture for entertainment and historical purposes, the only way to improve is to change. If remaining Klingon is so damn important, why aren’t they living in caves, riding animals and using oil lanterns? The independence of their clans is traditional and they are giving that up. But the important point, to paraphrase Krishnamurti, is “When you call yourself an Indian, Jew, Muslim, Christian, European, Klingon, or anything else, you are tearing a hole in humanity. When you separate yourself by belief, nationality, tradition, or race, it breeds violence. The Klingons have perfected it.

 

Now, more from the guys who paint bulls-eyes on all the chips they set on their shoulders.

 

Pain from actual flesh wounds doesn’t phase ‘em. But they can’t stand too be next to a human, who is half Klingon – Their racism is so in our faces. They are so insecure about their self-worth, they are eager to find reasons to fight and die to “prove” they are worthy. Dead people don’t feel honor. Dead people don’t feel anything. They could end the pain with a little logic. But that same logic would end the pretense that their honor was sacred.

Next L’Rell gives good advice.

 

Don’t care about what anyone thinks of you

 

Certainly don’t destroy your life over someone else’s opinion. On the other hand, we all want things from our mates, friends, society, our career, family, and so on. So it is important to care about what some people think, up to a point. But don’t beat yourself up or get diverted from what is really important to you over somebody’s opinion.

Now, L’Rell flips to the other side.

 

Only care what I think.

 

Most important is what we think about ourselves. That we can control. Everyone has worth to themselves, self-worth by definition. At the other end, we are all virtually worthless to the billions we don’t interact with.

Next is some pseudo psychology about why Spock allegedly killed 3 doctors.

 

because he’s emotionally compromised.

 

“Emotionally compromised” first appeared in the Star Trek reboot after Spock’s mother and 99.9999…% of all Vulcans had been murdered and his home planet destroyed – a very plausible trauma which could cause extreme behavior. However, here the writers have jumped far too far. Now, they have a guilt-fest of mea cupla speeches showing what they mean by, “Emotionally Compromised”, trying to justify whatever that is, as the cause of Spock’s alleged murder spree.}

 

He didn’t have a normal childhood.

 

Who had a “normal” childhood? What is normal? Ozzie and Harriet? Father knows best. Not even in the 50’s were those fantasies average or a median. Facts, details, research – please

 

And any display of emotion was strongly discouraged.

And in order not to confuse my son…I began to hide my own.

 

{No emotions would be confusing, but not the devastation they claim.}

 

I was not…a real mother.

 

{`The question is,’ said Alice in wonderland, `whether you can make words mean so many different things?’ They have changed the meaning of “real” to “good” – and not even defined good. She was obviously his real mother. The word Good, alone, is just noise without “real” meaning.}

 

Mother continues:

I wasn’t what he needed.

 

{What did he need? Where is the science proving that he “needed” whatever she has not told us?}

 

You gave us love, every second.

 

{Every second? What exactly did she give them every second? Love is probably the biggest buzzword of them all. We “feel” many types of “love”, some instinctual, 7 types according to Psychology Today, 10 according to other sources. We can do things for people that show our feelings for them, and that they may “love” us for. But you cannot give love, whatever your Humpty Dumpty, personal definition}

 

I gave you all my joy…

 

{You can experience “joy”. You can do things that might trigger joy in other people, but you cannot give joy or love, much less all of your own. This episode is buzzwords on parade}

 

and my… affection

that I was not permitted to give to him.

 

{Affection is nice, and can bond people. But where is the proof that whatever she did for Michael and didn’t do for Spock, is what Spock “needed”?}

 

If he had been permitted to embrace

the feelings that I know he has inside of him,

it would’ve saved him from all the trouble

that he’s in now.

 

{And Who wants to embrace despair, depression, desperation, and the myriad other, self-defeating, painful emotions? How does she know it would have saved him? The Klingons embrace their emotions – insecurity, hate, anger, envy, etc., getting themselves into wars, feuds, duels, dead at an early age, almost got their whole race wiped out last season.

Now Amanda switches hats}

 

That vision changed him forever. I…

I watched him withdraw. I saw him lose trust in other people.

 

{Now this is plausible. The vision definitely could have been traumatic to Spock. But Hell, Traumatic Incident Reduction has been “curing” PTSD since the 1990’s. This is supposed to be after 2230. What’s with all this ‘irreparable’ nonsense? If you or someone your love or know has PTSD, please read more about TIR in this video’s description. }

 

It was because of me. So, I had to wound him deep enough to keep him away from me.

 

{Did she use a knife? Since children are so suggestible and Spock did dote on her, he probably did beat himself up over her words. However, as an adult he could dispute and replace the belief that her words were so awful and get over it. It is possible that Michael’s words were traumatic to Spock. But, as I have already pointed out, Traumatic Incident Reduction would have eliminated that problem.}

 

The fact that you’re not saying anything means

that you must have hurt him irreparably.

 

{No it does not! It only proves Michael believes she hurt him irreparably. Rational Therapy, and TIR if it was a trauma, help people get over, whatever, all the time, have done so for decades.

Back to this soap opera}

 

True. If Ash had never known about the son, he would never have felt any pain about him. While there is an instinctual, genetic factor, their exaggerated beliefs about how horrible it is, throw fuel on that fire, needlessly increasing their pain. Moreover, accurately ranking intense pains is not possible. Here they try again.

 

All they really know is that their feelings were very intense. They cannot have experienced exactly what their icons felt so there is no way to say whose were greater. They are really just bragging that they are the greatest of the greatest. Drama queens.

 

The two sides of me felt whole.

 

We all have many “sides”, many different beliefs, which often conflict, create the discomfort of conflicting emotions. Perhaps seeing someone with similar problems might get one to see that being different is not horrible. But attacking the awfulness of being different and replacing it with “so what, it’s their problem” is the cure – not to say that in certain circumstances we won’t have to tip toe around their problem. Whining about it only reinforces it, contrary to popular venting theory.

The Buzzwords parade continues.

 

Not “belonging”, whatever he means, is not horrible. Believing whatever is awful is what creates his pain. And Belong? Is this a slave auction? No one really “belongs” to anyone else. Who, where, whatever we “belong to” or belongs to us is seldom “true” for a lifetime. Go with the flow. Places and organizations don’t own you, well not since feudal times, though credit cards have created a kind of indentured servitude class. I love the native American wisdom, “arguing over who owns a piece of land is like two fleas arguing over who owns the dog. Commit to people and causes; but not suicide over them.

 

 

“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will only hurt be when I believe ’em” – to be AWFUL

 

I’m Jimmy Walter, Thanks for watching. Please subscribe

 

https://www.cbs.com/shows/star-trek-discovery/

The Pain Causing, Self-Defeating, Illogical Beliefs in “New Eden” episode of Star Trek Discovery

Hi, I’m jimmy,

Once again, Captain of the Star Ship, Logic

Most people think that other people and events cause our emotions. But do they? Think about a football game. Millions see the exact same game. Yet about half go home happy, about half go home sad, the rest go home somewhere in between or at the extremes. Since they all saw the exact same game, it can’t be the game that caused this wide variety of emotions. It was their belief that one of the teams was, “My Team”, that the game had something to do with their worth.

Today I will discuss the pain causing, self-defeating, illogical beliefs in the New Eden episode of Discovery.

The following contains spoilers. Please pay and watch it on CBS all access.

First up is Michael

 

Past experience is important. But people change. Circumstances change. Fortune telling and mind reading don’t really work. Can’t never could. Rejection is part of life, only devestating when we believe it is devestating.

Next we see Tilly’s illogical belief that she “must” succeed, defeat her – again.

 

Yes, the dark matter replacement will keep the spore drive from killing Stamets – in the long run. But there is no ticking time bomb here. She could have waited for help, backup. Instead, her must-erbation delayed everything, diverted resources, got her hurt.

 

Here, Saru is right on the mark,

 

He follows up with another wise observation.

 

Saru does not condemn her for one incident, even one that could have gotten her killed.

 

Saru relates how his own excessive demands on himself were harmful.

 

Next Saru tells it like it really is.

 

Everyone has worth to themself. Unfortunately, many base their self-worth on their achievements. So, naturally, they will put down low achievers as worthless. The catch is that when they fail at something, then they will condemn themselves as worthless. Rate the behavior, not the person. Huge difference.

 

While Tilly’s words start out logically, her obvious panic reveals her illogical demand that she “must” solve the problem which shuts down her ability to think.

 

 

Ineptitude thrives in Risen Mai Tai’s, it doesn’t drown. The very harmful, widespread belief, that alcohol somehow stops the pain is pervasively pushed by the mass media. If she would challenge her belief that she “must” solve it, and replace it with, “this is very important, but I am only human and while it is highly preferable to succeed, failure won’t destroy me” – then would take a few slow deep breaths, let them go slowly, then her blood would flow back to her brain’s thinking part, giving her a much better chance of finding a solution.

 

This next part is a mixed bag.

 

Why didn’t she look for help before she almost got herself killed? She doesn’t “need” Burnham. “Need” exaggerates things into self-defeating demands. While Michael might be better help than most, Tilly could find someone else or play both roles herself.

 

This next section inflates doubt into insufferable.

 

What’s so awful about living with doubt? Nothing. In this infinite, ever changing universe, doubt is the only constant. When we awfulize doubt, we upset and defeat ourselves, suffer.

 

Here is another badly used buzz word

 

Lost is horrible? Ok, if you were lost in the desert or on the ocean without food, water, etc., that would be very bad. But so what if they don’t know the position of earth? They have food, shelter, water, friends, a complete life, even a guardian angel, better than billions who know exactly where they are on this planet. Their catastrophization of “lost” caused their pain.

 

 

When you feel awful, fearful, angry, etc. about something, search your mind for the beliefs causing that pain.  They may be subconscious, automatic. But find ’em and dispute ’em. “Why is that so horrible?” Answer, 90% of the time: “No good reason”. Replace it with a realistic belief that helps you cope, like “I certainly don’t like it, but I am not going to die, I can certainly stand it”. Trying to suppress emotions is like trying to hold down the lid on a boiling pot of water – bound to burn you. Replacing the illogical beliefs boiling that pot, snuffs out the flame, stoping the pain. It takes practice to do this and no one does it perfectly.

 

 

 

“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will only hurt be when I believe ’em”

 

I’m Jimmy Walter, Thanks for watching. Please subscribe

The Illogical Vulcan Philosophy

Hello, I’m Jimmy

Today, Captain of the starship Logic.

I love Star Trek. I have loved it since the 1960’s, you know, back when the crust of the earth was still cooling.

I’m a big fan of the Discovery spin-off.

It is important, however, to point out that Vulcan philosophy of no emotions is illogical. Logic does not tell us to be unemotional. That is both unrealistic and undesirable since joy and all the other wonderful emotions are what make life worth living. Moreover, lack of emotion would make us indifferent to improving. Logic shows us how to dampen and even eliminate painful, self-defeating emotions. It’s simple. Dispute the illogical beliefs that cause them and replace them with logical ones.

Consider my version of the Serenity Prayer: “May I be motivated to change the important things that I can change; may I have the patience to let go what I cannot change or is unimportant, even when it is “terribly” irritating, and may I see the difference. This way we can enjoy life more – as well as get a reasonable amount of the things that we really want, accomplished.”

Let’s start with the original series’ first appearance of Sarek,

 

Since Sarek does not return Spock’s greeting but does greet McCoy, an insult which Spock handles well, it is obvious that Sarek has a problem. Sarek goes on to say he would “prefer” another guide. While he says “prefer”, it is obvious he is hiding his real thoughts/feelings – that he believes that Spock did something so awful that Sarek can’t stand it, can’t stand to be around Spock – that he thinks he should punish Spock with insults and avoidance. If Sarek couldn’t stand it, he’d be dead already. We find out later that he is upsetting himself because Spock entered Star Fleet instead of the Vulcan Science Academy. But what is the logic in insulting or avoiding Spock? Insults and ultimatums provoke strife, not solutions. Avoiding Spock won’t solve any problem. It won’t change Spock. It won’t change the past, at least in real life, though they occasionally do in Star Trek. Sarek is being controlled by illogical emotions. Sarek would feel better and, therefore, act better if he disputed and replaced his judgments that Spock did something awful.

We now Jump to Season 2, episode 1, of Discovery.

Warning, everything from here on contains spoilers. Please pay and watch the show on CBS all access.

 

Look at Spock’s face. He is not a happy camper.

 

For many, this scene calls forth the illogical, pain causing and self-defeating belief that it is devastating to be rejected. Additionally, many will think that Spock did something very bad, “awful”, to Michael. If I had been writing the script, I would have had Sarek say something like this to Michael: “We can all see Spock has a problem. You could not have caused it. Upsetting yourself is painful and solves nothing. We cannot change others. We can change ourselves by changing what we think. We can try to get others to see that it is their thoughts that are upsetting them. If they see this, they can change those thoughts. That will stop their pain and the self-defeating behaviors it causes. It is sad that Spock is in pain. But even if whatever he is upsetting himself with is important, when we are upset, the blood leaves the thinking part of our brain and goes to the dogmatic part, the fight, flight and mindlessly follow-the-leader part. That hinders us in solving the problem – and often gets us into trouble, perhaps injured, sometimes dead. If Spock takes this to heart, he will feel much better, he will act better, and we will all be happier and achieve more.”

 

To Spock, I would have had Sarek say, “It is obvious that you believe that something about Michael is very bad. Yet, there are no monsters, plagues, famines, pestilences, horrible diseases or great physical pain in our lives. Michael has offered you her friendship, not attacked you. Please tell me what you think is so awful.

 

Suppose he is afraid she will replace him or be loved more by Sarek and Amanda. I would then have Sarek say: “Even if we, your parents, loved her more, that is far, far from horrible or even bad. You know us. We love you. We are not going to throw you out. We are not going to treat you any different or love you less – though we will now be spending a little less time with you alone when we are alone with her. Even if we did treat you differently, that is not horrible or very bad. You choose to spend time alone now. Come on. Dispute this illogical fear. Embrace the reality that nothing bad is going to happen. Just paying lip service won’t work.  If you really change this illogical belief, this pain will disappear. And Look at what you will gain. Michael has much to offer us all. She has first hand knowledge that not even the Vulcan libraries have – like what her life was like in a totally different environment and culture. She is very smart. You are very smart. Together, not only are we all smarter and stronger, we all will have much more fun and achieve more of what we want.”

 

This next scene has Tilly in what could have been the perfect shame attacking exercise.

 

 

Because she comes out talking too loud, she believes that everyone won’t respect her and that would be beyond bad. So she shames herself. Her desperation to please and be respected hinders her, makes things worse, causes her to act even more awkwardly. Everyone makes mistakes. Demanding perfection makes us fail at the very things we want to do perfectly. A single act or even a set of acts do not define anyone. Humans are far too complex for such a simplistic judgment. The demand to be perfect, to please everyone, is what makes her feel shame and blabber so much to cover it up. In the real world, in the long run, this would cause her to “burn out” – to quit trying.

A shame attacking exercise is where you intentionally do something that most people think embarrassing. While doing it, you dispute those beliefs, replace them with realistic thoughts, like what’s so frigging bad about this? – so what if people think it’s funny? The answer, of course, is nothing – it does not matter.

If you really believe this, then low and behold, you aren’t embarrassed.

We all have had thousands of illogical beliefs drilled into us, day after day, from birth, by family, friends, foes, fairy tales, TV, teachers, books, and more – so much so that these illogical thoughts have become subconscious, automatic, unquestioned habits that people don’t even know they have, much less dispute. But changing is not easy, as Sarek and Michael say:

 

To really change, to replace our old automatic thoughts/habits, we have to really believe, forcefully believe, new logical ones and practice, practice, practice, practice, practice…..

 

Now watch Captain Pike act so differently from Tilly:

 

 

Captain Pike does not punish himself about his mistakes in life. He points them out. And because he is not warping himself with embarrassment, he acts confidently and thinks clearly.

 

However, in this next scene Captain Pike is illogical and encourages a self-defeating belief:

 

(Sometimes it’s wise to keep our expectations low, Commander. That way we’re never disappointed.)

 

Keep our expectations low?! Never be disappointed!? That is a sure fire formula for failure and having an unsatisfying life. Disappointment is part of life – don’t make it devastating to your life. Disappointment helps us change for the better. With his attitude, you won’t try to do anything worthwhile. Of course, grandiose expectations are bad, bound to fail, cause pain, make us quit trying. That is why it is so important to pick worthwhile goals that are realistic for your abilities. It is important to push ourselves, but it is also important to have realistic expectations, not low ones.

 

Here comes another illogical, harmful idea.

 

Stamets elevates suicide to reasonable, even desirable – and implies everyday, normal lives are worthless. Your life is much more than your career or one moment in time, some “grand” achievement. To think that there is nothing more to life than money or glory – that life after some achievement is worthless, is sick. Enjoy the trip. Enjoy doing, just being, being with friends, seeing and hearing beautiful things, eating good food, the list of desirable things goes on and on. Don’t torture yourself throughout your life for some arbitrary, momentary mile stones that may never be reached.

 

Stamets pain causing, illogical thoughts continue.

 

Clip

 

This is a typical problem that many have. He blames his pain on the reminders of his dead lover. The reminders are not causing his pain. His belief that Hugh’s death is horrible, that he can’t stand thinking about him is what is causing his pain – an exaggeration that has been proven false by all the billions of people who have lost loved ones and moved on to a happy life while those that kept the belief continued to suffer.

This scene proves that it is not the reminders.

 

When Stamets finds something he wants to do, the illogical belief that he can’t stand the reminders is sucked right out the hanger deck door. Here, the writers have aptly taught us how our outlook, our focus (or fixation) controls our emotions.

 

Next, Tilly hurts herself with another illogical belief.

 

 

Well, she “can” stand it. It won’t be nice. But many people have lost many more than two loved ones in a single day, in this series. With this attitude she is bound to be fearful and in pain all the time. It is good to grieve – appropriately. But if she truly believes she “can’t” stand it, she will make herself feel horrible and suffer much more than is necessary – in the long run, make her quit Star Fleet.

 

Next: Half wise Words of wisdom found on the floor.

Not every cage is a prison, nor every loss eternal.

 

As Janis sang, “Freedom’s just another word for nothing left to lose”. We all have jobs, people we care about, things we take care of, obligations, and so on. These are the bars of everyone’s “prison”. We make it horrible when we believe they are “horrible”. Epictetus is one of the fathers of Stoicism, which Vulcan philosophy is often mistaken for. He was a crippled slave. Yet he said stoicism was, “sick and yet happy, in peril and yet happy, dying and yet happy, in exile and happy, in disgrace and happy.” Well, while that’s a little too far for most of us, he was telling people to have emotions. We don’t have to be fixated drama queens about whatever problems we have.

 

Sorry, every loss is eternal. No reset or start over in the game of life. But we don’t have to suffer eternally over them. We can let go of your losses and be mostly happy with the rest of our lives.

 

This next scene shows how exaggerations make a mockery of logic.

 

“What is the logic in staying away when there is nothing left to come back to?”

 

I’ve told you a million times not to exaggerate. Nothing!?? Maybe a whole lot less, but not nothing. Staying alive is logical and desirable. Plenty of refugees who have lost their homes, families, friends, possessions, and more have found new lives with many pleasures and rewards. Not what they originally wanted, but far, far, from nothing.

Next, Pike makes a valid point.

 

“Logic is the beginning of the picture and not the end”

 

I would tweak it a little: Logic makes the picture clearer. It’s an important tool, but just one.” Eh, Not as punchy as the writers’.

 

Pike then gives Michael some good advice

 

we’ll try to have a little fun along the way, too, huh?

 

Having fun along the way is logical, desirable, really necessary to want to do anything.

 

However, he goes on to give some half-bad advice.

 

Make a little noise.

Ruffle a few feathers.

 

Making noise and ruffling feathers is not necessary for fun. It may be necessary to accomplish some important things. But when it is not important, it imposes on other people, draws unneeded dislike, even anger from some.

 

This next scene is really good.

 

Spock’s nightmare scene

 

Nightmares are traumatic. Drawing your nightmares really works for children and many with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, PTSD. Traumatic Incident Reduction (TIC) is a very successful method that works for those with PTSD and/or nightmares.

 

Finally, Sarek has some words of advice that many use and will bring temporary relief.

 

Like Meditation, this will not solve your thinking problems and pain. It does, however, get the blood back to the thinking part of your brain so you can solve your thinking problems.

 

I will close with my variation of the old school yard wisdom: “sticks and stones may break my bones, but words” will only hurt me when I believe  they’re awful.”

 

Think better, practice it, and you will feel better, act better, get more out of life.

 

Thanks for watching. Check out the links below. Please subscribe or check back for the next installment

I’m Jimmy Walter.